Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Run down

I've been dealing with quite the myriad of emotions lately. Obviously, this impending move across the country leaves me nervous and excited at the same time. I am nervous because I will most likely arrive to a new state, unemployed, surviving on a bit of savings and left to rely on my boyfriend until I do find work. Honestly, that leaves me quite unsettled. And I know that I will find work but the interim is what I am concerned with. I don't want him to grow resentful of me. This feeling stems from what I grew up seeing my father feel for my mother since she didn't work but instead chose to raise my sister and I. Of course, that is not the path I am choosing for myself but even having someone take care of me for a short while leaves me with a pit in my stomach.

More than anything I want to be proud of myself but I also very much want Manny to be proud of me. For him to see me as an accomplished, intelligent woman. I do get down on myself because his ex-girlfriend before me was incredibly smart, also a psychologist, an excellent writer, pretty, tall... I understand I am being ridiculous because Manny loves me and has chosen to be with me but I can't help but regress to these feelings given my current circumstance. I want nothing more than to further my education and move forth with a new career. Given my age though, it does make it more difficult but nothing is impossible and I know that I am capable. Remaining positive and determined is what I need to hold to.

Despite all of the above, I did manage to have a very enjoyable weekend with Manny's aunt and uncle whom came for a visit to San Diego. We definitely over-indulged in some amazing food and drink. However, it was worth all the laughs and good conversation that was had.

Monday was a rough one though. I managed to wake up for my stats class but my throat was sore and I was incredibly tired. I decided to take the day off work and just rest. I certainly got plenty of rest; I slept from 8:30 am-4:30 pm! Needless to say, I wanted to get my body moving. I hadn't exercised at all over the weekend and my body was in debt. I made my way to the Burbank hills for a short yet rewarding hike. I worked up a sweat and got some fresh air which I know I needed. I then got some Trader Joe's goodies since the fridge was quite bare and took it easy for the remainder of the evening.

I also wanted to share this amazing recipe that I made on Friday prior to going to San Diego:
Banana Bread Granola http://minimalistbaker.com/banana-bread-granola/
It was very easy and makes a huge batch. I was very impressed with myself and everyone I shared it with thought it was incredible...especially Manny who loves all things banana :)

Here are some pics to highlight the weekend:

Those mussels and scallops were so amazing. The food is from Stone Brewery at Liberty Station. I wish I would've taken pictures of the outside patio, the ambiance is spectacular. The last picture is from a Russian restaurant we ate at. So many veggie options. Manny and I shared two dishes, one being a vegetarian french dip that was so wonderful! Great food!

I'm hoping the rest of the week is good for all of you. Wishing you health and happiness :)

Xx Nicole

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